Lifestyle · pregnancy

Pregnancy diaries: Third trimester

4.09.

Week 28, which means – 3rd TRIMESTER.

We have a flight to Greece today. The only bad thing about it – those damned compression socks! I really don’t know how people do it… I will be huffing and puffing and sweating. Any workout at the gym is so much easier than this. BUT getting them on/off is so much better than what it feels like when I don’t wear them while travelling.

This is my last trip (and that’s any trip where I have to sit for 1,5h) until the end of my pregnancy. Oh, my! Tell me how pregnancy is amazing!!!

11.09.

Week 29! I know I’ve said it before, but, man… Time flies.

I am one of those pregnant ladies now that make a sound if they need to get up and I definitely make a sound if I need to reach my sandals to get them on. That’s a task on its own! A real accomplishment. A couple of times I have been really close to asking my husband to do it for me. I hope I never reach that point though.

And the stairs!!! This is my worst nightmare right now. There have been so many stairs already, during this trip to Greece. Steep hills and stairs make me sweat on a spot. Not pleasant!

Oh, another thing – pregnancy heartburn is giving me trouble, but I’m trying to stay very focused on my dinner and sleep schedule to combat that.

16.09.

It’s 2:41AM and I just can’t sleep. There are a million things on my mind and since we’re on vacation, I haven’t done my due diligence with making my to-do lists or being organized. It was ok while I was in full vacation mode, but tonight, a night before we leave, I am apparently worried about this and that and just can’t sleep and I am going over my schedules, clients, financial stuff for the baby etc. For some reason – my brain thinks that 2AM seems like the best time to do it.

I am fully aware that being on my phone, with the screen switched on (though, I have my night-shift mode on and this all is very yellow now, to avoid blue lights) – is not helping much, but since I’m up and tossing & turning won’t give me much comfort, especially with that heartburn that just stings every time I move a muscle, then this was the lesser evil. I am hoping that maybe if I put the worries down here – I might feel calmer and sleep better. So, here goes:

*3 client e-mails I have to answer to before we leave the hotel.

*check-in for the flight.

*post for IG for today. I think I should share one of my client’s success story since it’s only a couple months left when I take new clients on before a little break with my little one.

*we have to find a car to buy before the baby… how do we even afford everything and were we completely out of our minds to go on a vacation before the baby?!?!?!

Mental note – shut up! Vacations are great and you both needed it A LOT!

Ok, where was I..?

*oh, another article – probably about sleep! And PRACTICE what you preach when you get home. Get back on track with to-do lists and de-stressing before getting to bed.

21.09.

I have a new superpower – I can cry on the spot. Literally! Any time you need a cryer – I can be there for you. I’ve read that pregnancy can make you laugh at one moment and then just burst into tears the next for no reason. Well, YUP! They were not lying whatsoever! I was laughing with my husband the other day like crazy and one minute the emotions just turned and I started hysterically crying. I have been more emotional – that’s for sure, but this was on the next level.

30.09.

Things are getting tough. Over the weekend the baby got heavy. I don’t know how – but he got heavy. Back hurts and I can’t lay down (or get up) without special sound effects. My husband offered to put my socks on the other day. Every time I do bend down (because I’m too proud for my own good), it feels like the baby will pop out somewhere because he doesn’t have any room inside anymore. I am telling you!

And I’ve gotten so lazy. What happened to my plan to have a very active pregnancy? I know it’s been only 2 days with my step count under 10 000 steps, but for me, that seems like a total disaster.

Oh, and middle of the last week – Braxton Hicks training contractions started. Oh boy does that make me worried about giving birth?!?! It doesn’t hurt that much, of course, but it is unpleasant. I can only imagine how unpleasant it will be during delivery…

06.10.

The mind shift is crazy. It really makes you think what hormonal system is actually capable of. You are completely fine with making everything about the baby and stuff that you thought would be a bother – is not… Crazy…

Apart from all the physical pain – he heartburn every night at 1AM and the kicks. I cried for the first time today because of how painful those kicks were. I believe there will be so many more tears in my life because of him (hopefully, joyful tears), but this was crazy. And I don’t even mind him really doing this… What is wrong with me?!

11.10.

I have a new superpower (remember – I could cry on the spot – this is an upgrade) – I can lose my balance while doing NOTHING! I think I can fight crime now…

13.10.

This has been quite a week… I have been way more tired than usual, I have gained more weight, even though I haven’t had an appetite, the heartburn has burned out my throat and lungs for sure & I only had 2 training sessions, just because I wanted to sleep or didn’t have the energy. It does feel a lot like the first trimester all over again.

I don’t have nausea, but I do feel a little sick if I miss meals and I have this feeling that I just don’t fit well into my body.

But I have to say – I think I’ve been able to keep a good check on my body so far. If everything goes well – maybe I’ll be able to avoid diastasis after my baby boy is born.

24.10.

My thermoregulation is off. My centre of gravity is off. This all feels so weird… If I don’t break my back in the last weeks of pregnancy – I’ll consider this a success. To be honest – I finally start to feel like I’m too big for my work. I can’t fit through narrow spaces… Maybe I should just stay home already. Today my husband had to pull out the car from the parking spot before I could fit through the door. That was a new experience. Can’t say I enjoyed it.

Also – a lot of moms enjoy the kicks… now, when the amniotic fluids are shrinking and the kicks are more like rolls – I can’t say they are all that pleasant. It’s great to feel the baby move, but I could also do without him pushing his hands right into my bladder. Or pushing his back against my ribs.

And even though I am 50/50 with enjoying this/not sure I’m enjoying this, slowly there’s a part of me that really wants to hold the baby. Maybe that’s also the part which wants to be able to give the baby in my husband’s hands so I don’t have to do this alone even though he’s been a champ at helping with everything so far already!

04.11.

This is my first off day from the gym. I am still on coaching, but it’s so different, that I don’t have to go to work… But I’m glad I don’t have to because I enjoy the days when I can speak so little and do only my things. Like, today – I organized my bedroom, closet, baby’s closet and bathroom. Tomorrow I will organize the living room and in a couple of days, I have a plan to organize the kitchen! I love organizing stuff!

As for my feelings – my back hurts, I have terrible heartburn most of the nights and evenings come with some swelling in my feet. I have a little bit of tingling in my feet, but what can I expect if I have a belly in the size of a watermelon…

10.11.

It’s a beautiful day outside. Yesterday we went to see the doctor after my third-trimester screening. Everything seems good with the baby and she gave me 3 more weeks. If in 3 weeks I still haven’t given birth – I have to see her again. In less than 2 weeks I’m seeing my midwife, so that’s when we’ll do doppler and try to find out if the baby is feeling good. But, what happened, to ruin my yesterday..?

The day was hectic. I oiled up my belly in the morning and I always do it when standing by the mirror, to be sure to hit everywhere, not just where it’s easy to reach. Again – the day was hectic, so I didn’t have a chance to get any oil or cream on my belly during the day, I felt that my skin is a little itchier than before, but nothing out of the ordinary… And in the evening, before I went to bed, I noticed that during that one day – my lower belly has tears in the skin. Bright purple! There they were and no matter how many times I blinked – they didn’t go away… At night – I woke up 4 times and each time I made sure to put something on my belly to keep it as moist as possible, but I know I can’t reverse the time. And I don’t know if I could’ve saved mt skin even if I had done everything right yesterday… This is one of those life moments when you just really wish you could turn back time with the knowledge you have now and do everything possible to change the outcome…

14.11.

Yesterday I rolled into week 38 of my pregnancy and I made my weekly post about it. Maybe it’s the hormones, but this was something I didn’t expect. 2 things I have realized:

  1. For some reason, people don’t separate my love for the baby and changes in my body. It seems like if I don’t like the changes – I don’t love my baby as much. This seems so odd to me because in my head – those are 2 totally separate things and my body is mine and my baby is his own little thing. Just because I don’t embrace my stretch marks, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy to meet the baby. I don’t see how giving birth has anything to do with the fact that I will have to live with stretch marks for the rest of my life…
  2. People think that pregnancy is all sunshine and butterflies, and if anyone tries to imply differently – they should “cheer up” and should be happy all the time. I think it goes hand in hand with people really struggling with facing the “uncomfortable” feelings, but with the awareness that has come in the past few years around mental health, it seemed weird that people just think I’m happy about everything that is happening. Maybe this is the reason why post-partum depression rates are as high as they are because the moment you don’t portray the happiest pregnancy or motherhood – someone will let you know that this is not what you should feel…

I have nothing against all opinions and, believe me – I’m happy if there’s a woman who is so happy about her stretch marks and she’s just so happy all the time – it’s great. You go, girl! But for lots of women, it’s not like that. Pregnancy is not easy and, I’m sorry, but for me, it doesn’t seem like the most magical time of my life. I would never trade this experience for sure, but “the happiest time”??? I don’t think so… And believe me – it startles me every time I catch myself feeling like this, especially because this pregnancy didn’t come easy for us. But again – I am ME! I will always be me. My child doesn’t belong to me and he has his own life to live. And I have mine. For a short period of time, our lives are connected, but that shall pass and what a mother is left with is her own body and her own feelings that should always be her own!

17.11.

I am so easily irritated. I am tired! My liver is not happy about someone pressing into it day after day. Stretch marks are so visible! Back pains are turning into headaches as everything is loosening up. I need help to get up from the coach. And I can’t really do it without assistance. I can’t bend down – even if my life depended on it. Even squatting down is a challenge. Walks need to be short and efficient because there’s too much of pulling in my lower abdomen. I can wear only 1 pair of sneakers because nothing else fits me anymore.

This is the most restless feeling I’ve ever had. I can’t do anything about this and I would never trade this… And I truly wish this was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life, but the state I’m in makes it damn near impossible to even consider that as a possibility. So, I just take it as it is. Couple more weeks… Just a couple more!

25.11.

Blood pressure is up big time and I’ve been put on medication. I am also, back to compression socks. Oh my, the fun in having to put those on and getting them off. I am in awe of my husband who puts up with all of this. But the meds make me so sleepy that I don’t even have too much of a chance to walk around and use the benefits of compression socks. I look a little funny with my fat feet and palms…

It’s only 2 days until my due date. I am allowed to walk around until the 7th of December, so it doesn’t mean that I’m having a baby any day now, but it’s not far for sure… To be honest – I am incredibly calm about all of this. More focusing on everything afterwards I guess, because in my head – labour will pass relatively quickly, compared to having a kid for the rest of my life.

28.11.

One day over my due date. Skin is tearing (if it’s quiet – you can actually hear the pops). We have done everything that we had planned to do, so it means, baby can come now… Today I actually tried some labour inducing exercises… There are some consistent pains and aches, but I’m not sure if it’s contractions… And the baby is moving a lot!

Am I scared of labour? Maybe a little… I am not afraid of the pain as much of some things going wrong or just not happening. I don’t want to induce labour and I don’t want c-section. Crossing my fingers!

30.11.

Doctors appointment! Since I’m over my due date, I had to go and see my doc to check if everything is good with the baby. And it is. Doppler showed that heartbeat is super strong and steady, my uterus is not contracting (I don’t know if that makes me happy since the contractions are necessary for labour), BUT I am dilated 2cm! Yay! That doesn’t mean much, of course. I might’ve been like this for weeks already. But I am very proud of myself because that gives a feeling that I can do this…

02.12.

It’s 40 weeks and 5 days. I think I’ll get to 41 weeks… I can’t say I like it, but it seems like the baby is in no rush at all.

So, today I went for a walk, cleaned the house, did some yoga (deep squats and downward-facing dogs + meditation)… Tomorrow it will be a wine day. I have until the 5th of December. And then couple more days until I need to be induced, but I’m sure it’ll just happen. Just have to talk to the baby. I do believe that he knows and hears me. And I believe it’s as uncomfortable for him as it is for me…

Also – my hormones are all over the place… I cry every time I see my stomach. My stretch marks are not too deep, but they are covering almost all of my stomach… I know I haven’t even been done with this pregnancy, but… What will happen with me when we decide to have another kid?! And you can judge me all you want – this is one of the most prevalent thoughts on my mind lately.

Whatever the reason – I just want to get that baby out and into our arms…

05.12.

Today is 41 weeks and 1 day. And I think I’m stopping now, because, what else could I tell you..?

My husband says that he knew it was going to be a Friday (if we don’t go today) when we have to go to the hospital… He just thought it was going to be last Friday. Looks like our kiddo has given us an extra week to get things done, go on dates and just sleep.

I have gotten and wrapped all the Christmas presents, I have cleaned the house, ironed the shirts and just gotten everything super organized. I have written all the e-mails and pre-prepped my coaching clients for December, to take off a couple of days. There is actually a huge bonus with going the full term and a little more, because now I know which days will be the ones I will be unavailable for my clients. No questions really about it anymore and that is good!

So, I feel like a whale. I can bearly move. Since we’re sleeping on a mattress on a floor, I am a frequent guest on a couch in our living room. It’s closer to the bathroom anyways.

Funny memes are life at the moment. I really couldn’t get through the days without them. Also – ice cream and potatoes. I couldn’t imagine going a day without eating one or the other.

What else? Stretch marks are longer and deeper, hands and feet are swollen and I miss sleeping on my back or stretching out. Or rolling from side to side through my stomach. Also, getting up on my own, without any help from my husband. Or putting on socks without his help. I am truly amazed at the things he’s ready to bear with all my mood swings and inability to do anything.

But now, that I’m so close to the end (if not today or tomorrow, then on Saturday we’re meeting our kiddo), I am starting to feel a little bittersweet about this. I am happy about every roll and a kick, because I know we’ll never be as close as we are now. Especially with a boy – he will never understand this feeling – being pregnant and what I was ready to do just to have him. I have a completely new appreciation for my mom and what she’s gone through to have me… People – love your moms!

It’s been a long year that was all about the baby. Now I’m ready for the next chapter. Take it as it comes, learn how to be a good mom for my child, get back in shape, be a better coach, because the awareness I have about my body now is nothing compared to what I had before. And I believe that the best is yet to come.

3 thoughts on “Pregnancy diaries: Third trimester

  1. I am so excited for you!! I bet the baby is already here. I am currently expecting at 33 weeks today, with my 3rd child. The kids are excited. Have a nice day and Merry Xmas. And congratulations!

    Like

    1. Thank you and congratulations on the 3rd child! I am still waiting on the kiddo, but if not today, then tomorrow we’re meeting. Very exciting! Merry Christmas to you too and enjoy the time of the year.

      Liked by 1 person

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