pregnancy

Pregnancy diaries: First trimester

APRIL

06.04.
Hey, it turns out I’m pregnant… SURPRISE!!!!!

I was about a week and a half after my appointment to my OB-GYN (because my period was late and I was blaming some hormonal imbalances or my thyroid for all of this mess), but then, out of nowhere, I got the sorest breasts in my life. Those pregnant ladies who have been there – you know what I’m saying. I wanted to shower with a bra on. It was miserable. Bloating was bad and I started to feel a little nauseated at some points during the day. So I decided to take another pregnancy test (yes, I had already taken 2). And this little thing unexpectedly turned out to be POSITIVE. I didn’t believe it, so I bought another one. That was positive too. Then I decided to wait the next day and do another test… You know – just in case.
Can you imagine how tough that night was? I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I just wanted to tell my husband and wanted to go and see my doc again. She said that there’s no rush though, but I had to go and see her. So I did – and today, she confirmed that this pregnancy is 5w 6d. Too soon to tell anything, but enough to say that there’s someone there.

And so the waiting for the next appointment – the first real one – began. It’s going to be on the 27th of April. 21 days…

08.04.
Nausea is becoming a real bitch. And you know what I feel most nauseated towards? Meat!!! Me?!?!? I love meat. I could chug a kg of meat in a blink of an eye. Steaks could be my best friends… And now – when I think of it – I feel only nausea. I can still get it down, but it tastes like cardboard. Fingers crossed it doesn’t get worse.

Oh, and training is not that bad during pregnancy if you can get through the tiredness. All I can think about right now is my bed. Oh… and bloating, because that is not leaving me. I actually look 5 months pregnant because of it already!!!

10.04.
Thoughts in pregnancy? What if the baby’s heart is not beating at the next ultrasound? What if I get a huge belly by the very beginning of pregnancy because the bloating is already making me huge? Is, what I’m feeling, normal? Should it all be this way?

And I could live off of pickles, strawberries and cottage cheese. Just keep the turkey away from me. Or any kind of meat. And I’ll eat sausages – a lot of them, just to get the mustard. Ahhhh, HELP!

13.04.
Waking up at night to eat. Yup! That is me now. Does it feel ok? Nope! But if I fight this feeling – I get nauseated and my head starts hurting and that is not fun… So I eat. Carbs are my friends for sure and I get that my body needs the energy to make the placenta and the baby-to-be, but…? Really? At night?

16.04.
I am so tired. 7 hours of sleep that used to be a good amount for me, now is like 5-hour sleep… I feel good when I sleep 11 hours, but that doesn’t happen too much, because it’s not possible to sleep through the night. I get up because I’m HUNGRY and I have to go and eat at 3 AM. That doesn’t resonate as ‘normal’ to me. But the nausea is crazy and the only way to get rid of it – is to eat…
So – now I’m just tired and I’m frustrated. And my husband is worried I’ll get fat. Well – hello!!! I know he doesn’t mean anything bad by it and he knows how much I’ve feared to gain too much weight during pregnancy, so I appreciate his concerns, but right now I get angry and then I want to cry (even though I am not really even angry or really want to cry) and then I just don’t want to talk to him… Well… This is going to be a long pregnancy if I keep it up this way…

20.04.
I honestly don’t know how I survived my 30th birthday. If I had known, when we planned that I’ll have a huge party that I’ll be pregnant and this miserable, I had never planned it. Now I just want to sleep and not meet people for a century.

27.04.
What day is this? It’s First-official-visit-at-my-doc day. This is just to confirm if what I have is, for sure – a pregnancy. Well, doc, if what I’m feeling isn’t pregnancy – then I have some terrible terminal disease because I’m ready to bare this feeling only for the baby…

Later that day…
Everything seems PERFECT. All the measurements are great; baby’s size seems to be just the way it’s supposed to be. Now blood tests and we’re off to a good start.

MAY

03.05.
It’s been the worst time ever. Pregnancy is far from FUN… I know it’s all for a good cause, but when every little cell in your body is feeling sick and tired, it’s sometimes hard to keep that in mind.

My belly is starting to stick out and it’s impossible to sleep on the stomach. So, things are going forward. Am I worried about the lab results on baby? Yeah, now more than before, because I’m hoping for the best possible outcomes…

18.05.
Today was my first-trimester ultrasound and docs appointment. Everything is good. Actually, all is great. The blood work is great, no infections and low chances on chromosomal illnesses. So I am doing great!

I am still tired a bit, but the sickness is finally dissolving. I can’t miss a meal though or I will pass out… And it happens fast. So now, I am walking around with my bag packed with snacks. It’s a heavy bag… if I overeat though – it makes me a little sick… so, you can’t really win with me.

30.05.
I have the best husband and the best life possible. And great friends. Life really is great. Even though I get the worst night cramps in my calves, even though it is getting tougher to get my socks on, even though the pulling on the lower stomach can be really intense.

P.S. Second worst thing after nausea – sore breasts! I am thankful that they are not hurting all the time anymore, but on days like today – it feels like everything there is on fire and nothing can make it better… Well, only cold cabbage leaves. Yes, I tried those.

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