The wild thing

I have just returned from a week in Croatia and this was such a different trip. It was a work trip, not a week away for myself and I had been interested in this sort of traveling for some time now. Our group consisted of 10 participants and two of us – leaders of the group – my colleague (psychologist) and myself (fitness trainer). We had workouts and psychology lessons planned throughout the week. During the stay – girls could go for a couple of trips, but other than that, we just stayed not far from Trogir and could enjoy the amazing Croatian weather and nature. That’s really in short of what it was like.

But today’s post is not about the camp itself. It’s about what was so special about all of this. I can’t describe it, but you can’t just be part of it, without bearing your soul to these amazing people around you. I wasn’t a part of psychology sessions, but the more girls opened up and changed before my eyes, I could feel changing too.

I didn’t see it at first… I looked at it as an outsider. They had their little group where they get to know each other and they got all their sharp edges smoothened out, but, unknowingly, I had also become a part of the group. We weren’t sightseeing together, even though we were – it was something so much more. All of them, with their new found courage, made me more courageous. With their growing love and sexuality towards themselves, I found my own hidden parts of needs and wants I had put aside.

On our last day on this trip, we spent the whole day on the boat – singing, dancing, eating and drinking, and celebrating our lives to the fullest. Looking to the road ahead – I can honestly say that I hope for absolute best for these 10 girls and ourselves. The last day in Croatia was pure happiness. It was overwhelming and all-consuming. It got raw and it got wild. And it showed me how much longing and a will to live I still have… This trip and people I met on the way, reminded me, that I am not what I thought I had become. The girls showed me how untamed we really are. And how much we need this wilderness to live inside of us.

Today I know that I am not losing my passion, I am not becoming something I don’t want to be. I am in charge of what my life looks like and my choices. I choose to follow my girls and I also choose to follow my wilder side, even if it’s just for a day… or two. But it’s enough to make me feel the rawness of the scars I have and enjoy the unexpected opportunities life can bring you.

Our group, our energy was something so special. If one of us had said: “Jump!”, the only thing all of us would’ve said: “How high?” No doubts and no questions, because we had one week, one goal and one breath throughout this trip. These girls will always have the most special part of my heart because they helped me see who I was.

I hope you all have a chance, sometimes in your life, to do something like this camp and feel all your emotional nerve endings opened up wide. Take in all the beauty and all the ugliness. Take in all the joy and all the hurt. Take in all the weakness and strength and make this life worth living.

U come first

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